my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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