CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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