Do you still have your period?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
