i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
