i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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