just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
