just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
