That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
