so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
