Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
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Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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