He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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