So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
