What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
