I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize