I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
