That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
