your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
