Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
