His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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