If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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