yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
