Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
