I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
