Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
