Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
