on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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