I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
It's just like the Real World with babies
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
