i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
