am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
