my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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