making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
