the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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