Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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