There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
