She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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