Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Im part way to drunk.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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