ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All the doctor said was why
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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