I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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