You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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