are you so shy because you have an std?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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