i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
ok first of all what the fuck
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
