Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
