just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
