so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
