I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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