Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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