Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
