You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Pooping to opera.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
