I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Come on in and take your pants off
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