the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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