If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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