you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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