The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
