Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
