And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
