okay pat passed out under dana's car
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Who died my cat blue again?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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