afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
