I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
