FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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