question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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