if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
