Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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