when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
